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The Witcher 3 is the best video game I have ever played. Hands down. 

And I’ve played a lot.

My wife is tired of me talking about The Witcher 3. In fact if I even bring it up, she huffs and rolls her eyes. “Not this again…”

I tried explaining how awesome it was to her. And when that didn’t work, I tried to have her play it with me, from the beginning. But she wasn’t into that.

I’m a little sad that my wife may never gain the experience of what it is to immerse yourself in the world of The Witcher 3.

And it’s not just about the incredible graphics, huge open world, beautiful scenery, and sword and magic yielding fights with monsters.

Continue reading The Top 10 Things I Learned About Life And Parenting From Playing The Witcher 3

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UW TunnelsDid you know there are over 7 miles of interconnecting tunnels that run underneath the University of Washington?

They are dark, narrow, and hot. Over 110 degrees hot. 

If you brush against the pipes, your skin will melt. I saw it happen.

High school students were brought there and hazed in the year 1999. I was there.

It all started when my friends Daniel, Aaron and I, enrolled in an off-campus class in our Junior year of high school.  It was a network technologies class. 2 hours a day.

The class was held in the bottom of a high school for dropouts or expelled kids who needed a second chance.

The school was in the bad part of town.

Once, I walked out the front door and was pushed back inside by an officer in full SWAT gear.

Someone crashed a car into the house across the street. They ran upstairs and took someone hostage. We all watched as it unfolded, our faces glued to the windows.

The school was rough, but we learned a lot about routers, modems, switches, and basically how to set up and maintain computers on a network in a corporate environment.

We ended up wiring that entire broken down school, drilled holes in floors and walls, ran CAT5 cable, terminated wires, set up modems and routers, and configured computers. In 1999 it was a unique skill to have, and we were proud.

As the year came to an end, our teacher let us know that she had a summer job offer for the students. Daniel, Aaron and I decided to interview.

The interview was interesting. They didn’t give much detail about the job.But they did say we would be installing and terminating cable, setting up modems and routers, and maybe configuring computers.

Sounded right up our alley. 

Oh, and then they mentioned the pay. $12.09 an hour. That was more than I had ever made. The highest I had been paid per hour before that was $5.35.

All 3 of us were excited.

Our first job was on the campus of the University of Washington. That sounded great. Established. Credible. Academic. We were pumped.We showed up at the job site and did some quick introductions. There were 4 other people on the team. If you added us, it was 7 total.

The two guys that stand out in my mind were Joshau and DJ Dougy Fresh.

Joshau was a beast of a human, about 6 foot 5 inches tall, and 250 pounds of solid muscle. He drove a huge white truck with neon orange racing stripes. And yes his name was Joshau, not Joshua. He said his mom accidentally switched the “u” and the “a” on his birth certificate and never changed it out of pride.

DJ Dougy Fresh, was a goofy, shaggy, curly-haired, skinny-guy in his late twenties. He always looked down at his feet, bounced around, and never stood still. Whenever he stepped outside a smoke was instantly lit and between his lips.

The two other guys I hardly remember, they seemed like generic expendable goons in a movie, just extras in the cast to beef up the environment.

“So where do we start?” Aaron asked.

Chuckling. Joshau said, “You’ll see, follow us.”

Fully expecting to walk through the prestigious and beautiful hallways of the University of Washington, and end up in a classroom somewhere, we were disoriented and confused as we began to walk inside a parking garage, then  downstairs. Then down more stairs, and more… Eventually we opened a door.

And we saw it. 

A huge roll of thick black wire, taller than Joshau, on a wooden spindle, just staring at us.

Without talking, DJ Dougy Fresh bent down near the massive roll of wire and opened up a latch on the floor.

The latch opened up to a dark abyss. He dropped down inside. Disappearing.

Joshau said, “get in boys!”

Daniel looked at me, shrugged, and dropped down too.

I didn’t want to be last, so I tried not to think too much, mustered up some courage, and dropped down myself.A wave of heat blasted me in the face, and throughout my entire body, I immediately felt all the sweat glands in my body wake up and start churning.

I thought, “It must be 120 degrees in here!”

Once my brain recovered from the shock of the heat, my eyes started adjusting to the light.

A long straight tunnel expanded further than I could see in either direction. On the left there were thick metal pipes stacked on each other. To the right there were stacks of wires held up by metal trays.

There wasn’t enough room to put my arms out to the side without hitting my elbows against the wires and pipes.

Joshau yelled, “Whatever you do, DON’T TOUCH THE PIPES.” 

He pointed at his face with both fingers, swished his mouth around a few times, then spit onto the pipes. With a sharp hiss, the spit instantly evaporated into steam and floated to the top of the tunnel.

We nodded in bewilderment. No touching the pipes.

As we walked, Joshau yelled, “There’s 7 miles of interconnecting tunnels just like this under the University, and they want us to wire them up with fiber optic cables.”

He kept walking, “That means we’re taking wires from the top, and running them through the tunnels to the end points. It’s going to take team work, and it won’t be easy, but we can do it.”

Joshau banged on a swinging metal door, “You see these gates? These gates show up about every quarter mile, if they close on you then you’re stuck inside. We tie them off with rope to keep them open. So don’t mess with the rope. Only I have the key. Don’t let these close on you.”

My head was reeling trying to take in all of this, what did we get ourselves into?

We started pulling the cable from the spindle and would hand it off to the next person at set intervals. Maybe 200 yards apart.

Once everyone was at their spot, pulling the cable became kind of like a one-way game of tug of war.Each time you grabbed the cable to pull, it would jitter, stutter, bounce around, and sometimes completely get locked up.

The 110 degree heat and the constant jittery-pulling induced drenching-sweat beyond anything I’d ever experienced.

It was the type of sweat that started out as thousands of perfectly formed beads. Eventually it became a salty sheen that would build up, sting your eyes, and puddle around you.That pool of sweat didn’t last too long as it soon evaporated from the intense heat.

Quickly we found out one of the perks of the job. Every hour there was a mandatory break due to health regulations.

We would use our cable as navigation and climb back up top. Often a very long walk. Sometimes a mile.

A blast of cold air would welcome us, accompanied by literally a truck load of Gatorade bottles. We would guzzle them down, pant, wipe our brows, chat for about 15 minutes, and then go back down below again.

I had never drank so much Gatorade in my life.

Weirdly no one ever needed to pee. It went straight out our sweat pores.

The third time we went above for a Gatorade break, we noticed that our friend Aaron wasn’t looking so great.I figured it was probably normal, as I’m sure I looked like hell too. I sure felt like it. Daniel didn’t look too great either.But something seemed a little off with Aaron, even for this situation. We just shrugged it off. We were doing our best to cope with the strange situation we had found ourselves in.

When we went back down again, we picked up our same stations and started pulling once again.

It felt hotter this time. Probably the contrast. 

We kept pulling. Stutter, jitter, jumpy cable.

Then it totally stopped. Hard. Then went slack, smooth. Something was up.

I could hear a voice yelling at the top of their lungs from far down the tunnel, then another voice picked it up and repeated. Then another.

“STOP PULLING! GO UP TOP!”

Once I heard it, I found myself yelling it down the line too, “STOP PULLING! GO UP TOP!”

Up top we all huddled together, not drinking Gatorade this time, wondering what was up. In a few minutes DJ Dougy Fresh climbed up from the tunnels.

He walked over to us and said, “Heat exhaustion. Your buddy Aaron yacked all over the place. Almost fainted too.”

Daniel and I looked at each other in shock.

DJ Dougy Fresh continued, “I think he’s OK, but they’re going to keep an eye on him. I don’t think we can let him back down in the tunnels.”

And it turns out we wouldn’t see Aaron in the tunnels again…It was a bit discouraging to not have Aaron as part of our team any longer, but after a couple weeks Daniel and I slowly got used to the rhythm, the heat, and the narrow tunnels.

I even started recognizing parts of the tunnels, whereas before the whole place seemed like a repeating never-ending maze. It was fun to explore the hidden depths of the university hardly anyone knew existed.

But what wasn’t fun, and what I did not expect, was the hazing.

At first everyone was pretty nice to Daniel Aaron and myself, but shortly after Aaron was out of the tunnels, the game began to change.It started slow.

First, they would ask us to go up top to find something like a left handed wrench for one of the guys.

Of course, a left handed wrench doesn’t exist. They knew that. We knew that.

But when we couldn’t find the imaginary tool, it was a perfect excuse to be punished with the gruntiest of grunt work.

Next they had us lug a heavy bags full of tools around with us “just in case.” The bags were difficult to maneuver in the narrow tunnels and the heat made them even heavier. Of course, we never ended up needing what was in those bags.

They just wanted to watch us sweat and squirm.

Next was the longest running “gag.” If we did anything that was even slightly “wrong”, talked back, or showed any sign of disrespect, disobedience, or for any other reason… They would all start chanting “Nooooo Gatowaaaddee!” In a mocking baby-talk tone.

Sometimes “Nooooooo Gatowaaaaaaddeee!” would be chanted in a group. Other times you’d hear it echo from a quarter mile down the tunnel and then be repeated on down the line.

And, as the chant implied, you would no longer get your Gatorade on that break.

I learned very quickly to know my role and not attract any unneeded attention. This helped me avoid bad situations, but Daniel on the other hand is a loud-mouth and doesn’t take crap from people. I respect that about him. But this cost him many Gatorades and I found myself sneaking him some when I could.

Daniel’s hard hardheadedness and strong spirit drove the guys on the site to pull out the big guns to try and break him.

While we were walking through one of the hottest segments of the tunnels Daniel was in the back of the line. DJ Dougy Fresh told Daniel to go back and grab something they dropped about 100 yards back.

As Daniel walked back through the tunnel, I saw Joshau shut the nearby gate and snicker. When Daniel came back, he got close enough to see the gate was closed and he said “Hey guys, can you open the gate for me?”

“Sure” said Joshau, and looked for his keys to unlock the gate.

“Wait, I can’t find my keys. Hold on.” He bumbled.

“Man, looks like I must have dropped ’em. You might want to go back in there and try and find them, I’m not sure where they are. Really sorry man. I’ll wait here.”

Daniel looked a bit shocked, trying to figure out if this was serious or another “joke”.

We all knew that this could be bad. There was only one set of keys, and to get another set would be tricky. Especially because hardly anyone on the UW campus even knew about these tunnels, let alone where to get a spare key.

Daniel went back to try and find the key. I told him I’d wait for him and look for the key on my side.

The other guys went up top to “see if the key was up there”.

It was already late in the day, and we were about to head home. Not only was Daniel trapped, but potentially the whole team was held up from going home.

5, 10, 15, 20, then 30 minutes went by. Tired and sweaty both Daniel and I frantically searched for the missing key, knowing that we would likely not find it.

A guy from the team came down. I thought, “Great! Good news! He probably found the key, or has a spare.”

Instead, he let us know that the office that has the spare key is closed for the day, and we won’t be able to get another key until tomorrow morning.

Looks like Daniel would have to spend the night in the scorching hot tunnels with no relief.

Panic set in. What were we going to do? What would we tell our parents? Would Daniel survive? Should I stay with him?

It felt like hours passed. Daniel was scared. I was scared. I told Daniel I’d be right back. I was going up top to see what was happening.These guys were just hanging out, waiting, chatting, they didn’t seem worried at all, they seemed pretty happy.

I asked what the plan was. They shrugged their shoulders, then looked around at each other.

DJ Dougy Fresh said “Time?”

Joshau said, “Time.”

Joshau walked towards the entrance to the tunnels. I followed him back to where Daniel was locked.

I watched as he did a not-so-sly move of dropping the keys on the ground. He then pretended to look around and said, “Here they are! How could you guys not see these?”

He unlocked the door and let Daniel out.

Daniel didn’t say much, nor did I, and nor did the rest of the team. We didn’t talk about that incident, that day or after.

But something changed.

Daniel’s spirit didn’t break, and I think DJ Dougy Fresh and Joshau knew they went too far.

Somehow that torturous act had a normalizing effect and we became on the same level together. It was a strange mix of resentment and mutual respect after that point.

Work was strange for about a week, people were quiet, but slowly after we became a tight team. Everyone got Gatorade.

We even created some unorthodox methods for pulling the cable quicker. And we finished the job ahead of schedule.

After each successful cable pull Joshau would yell and jump at the top of his lungs, “We kicked that cable’s ass!”

I learned a lot from that experience. Sometimes I think that I shouldn’t have put up with their crap, that I should have stood up for myself, that I should have quit.

But another part of me is glad I did put up with it, that I did navigate that insane physical and social landscape, that I was able to maintain my friendship with Daniel, and become accepted as part of the team even in that environment.

  • I learned that even if something is super scary and intimidating, you can usually do it if you just put your head down and power through.
  • I learned that age difference is often irrelevant. We were 17 year old kids working with people in their early 30’s and by the end it hardly mattered.
  • I learned that if you do work that no one else wants to do, you can get paid a lot more than anyone else.
  • I learned to know my role and respect those with more experience, expertise and knowledge than myself.
  • I learned that there really are entire hidden worlds right under your feet. Secrets are real.
  • I learned that hazing can help a team bond, but there is a line that should not be crossed. Finding that line is difficult and dangerous.

I can’t say I was sad to leave those tunnels, but they’ll always have a place in my heart.

And so will Joshau and DJ Dougy Fresh.

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